DAY 1: TAKING THE FIRST STEP
WHAT ARE YOU HOPING FOR IN THE JOURNEY AHEAD THIS MONTH?
As we begin this month of opening up to seeing ourselves with kindness through our cameras, what are you hoping for?
From March 1, 2022: Today, I’m starting a new journey of self reflection & exploration. I’m hoping to connect more deeply with myself as I work to overcome my depression. Often, I’m too quick to jump online & moan about the state of my life, which can be okay, but I need to be able to see through the negative towards more positive outcomes. To know that I’m not always so worthless or useless. To know that I have something to offer in life.
What would you love to feel in this experience? Are there certain types of selfies you hope to capture?
I want to feel more positive about myself because I’m the only person I have in my life that I can depend on for the love I desire. I know I have a habit where I say these kind of thoughts, & in other posts I’ve often talked about trying to actualize these things, trying to actualize unconditional love & reverence for all life starting with myself, but I also know that I’ve often failed at doing this for myself. It’s time to stop failing. As author @shannonkaiserwrites says, it’s time to start living & using joy as a barometer for how I feel.
In terms of the selfies I’d like to capture this month, I want to explore ways of seeing myself visually that I haven’t done before over the last two years, while also keeping them authentic to how I feel.
IT CAN BE POWERFUL TO GIVE VOICE TO WHAT WE'RE NERVOUS OR FEARFUL OF TOO. WHAT FEARS OR WORRIES ARE ON YOUR MIND? By giving them space to be heard and knowing that they might come up again, it can help us begin to diffuse their power over us!
I admit, I’m nervous that I will start strong & then fall again. I need to craft some kind of a safety plan for when I feel myself growing weak. A way to lift me up from under the weight of the metaphorical bricks that can feel too heavy on my shoulders. I’m not sure what that will look like but maybe that’s a question I can put to my non-physical guides & teachers in tomorrow mornings automatic writing session.
Another thing that I need to do this month is reach out for help. I’ve been struggling so much, & I haven’t done the things I need to do to get better. There were times in January & February when I felt lower than I did when I ended up in hospital for my depression. It’s not some thing I’m proud of. But I have to get over being upset with myself or feeling guilty for not getting the help that I know I need. Because when I do that I just cycle down into more shame, regret & remorse to the point of paralysis. So this is my manifesto: that kind of shit ends today.
60/365.
This was originally posted on Instagram and Flickr.
Today’s photo prompt and reflective journaling questions for today was a part of the BE YOUR OWN BELOVED photo workshop challenge which is run several times throughout the year by photographer VIVIENNE McMASTER. It’s well worth signing up for, and doing alongside other participants.
HAVE YOU TAKEN YOUR PHOTO ALREADY? IF NOT...ARE YOU FEELING RESISTANT? IF SO, IT'S TOTALLY OKAY AND LET'S EXPLORE WHY!
You might fine that with this or any prompt, you feel resistant. That is totally okay and it can actually be a really good thing as it's a sign that there is change ahead. Your inner critic doesn't want you to change and it works really hard to prevent that. So when we feel that resistant feeling it's usually a sign that we SHOULD do it, no matter what our inner critic says. So let's compassionately and playfully step into our resistance to a prompt, keep going...keep trying. Out past our resistance is our realizations!
Plus, we're on Day 1 of a class, beginning a process of taking a photo every day! Today is about creating that motion in the process and this space it to let yourself acknowledge the resistance and see what happens next!
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