DAY 05: OUR REFLECTIONS
HAVE YOU EXPLORED TAKING REFLECTIVE PHOTOS BEFORE TODAY? HOW WAS IT FOR YOU?
I know for many of us we hear 'reflection' and we think the mirror. And the mirror is often another place like through the camera where we might find old stories come up. We'll connect with the mirror later in class, but today is about reclaiming a playful and inquisitive relationship with our reflection. How did finding your reflection in this way feel?
June 5, 2022: If I actually complete this #post, it will mark the 1st #time in a long time since I’ve done this 5 days in a row. Right now, I’m #struggling with completing even the simplest of things, & outside of these daily #selfies, I’ve steered away from moments of #SelfReflection. For example, I can’t remember the last time I did #MorningPages #journaling, & I’ve also avoided moments where I’d have to see myself in a #mirror. My #relationship with myself has always had a tension of #distrust, of not liking who I see in the mirror.
HOW IS BUILDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO YOURSELF THROUGH THE CAMERA FEELING FOR YOU SO FAR THIS MONTH?
We're only on Day 5, but we're already in the process of creating a habit of taking a selfie each day and building a relationship to ourselves through the camera. What has that relationship been in the past between you and a photo? And what would you like it to be like in the future? Proclaim it here in this space...what are some words to describe how you'd like your relationship to seeing yourself in photos be in the future? Open? Kind? Inquisitive? Exciting? Thoughtful? There is no right or wrong here...let whatever is coming up for you have a place to land here!
In 2020, I made a post about purchasing a handheld mirror that I planned to use for #EyeGazing #exercises related to #HoOponopono, as well as repeating #affirmations & other #mantras to reframe how I view myself. My desire to do that ran parallel with my desire to do this #selfie project everyday. It was supposed to #help, not #hinder my progress. But like so many things in my life, I start, but don’t follow through.
My distrust hasn’t just impacted seeing myself in a mirror, or taking selfies; it’s also spilled into a fear of being in photos with family & friends. When I should embrace chances to #capture happy #memories I get stuck worrying about whether or not I look good, or wondering when this amateur photo session would be over. I’d suck in my gut & hold my breath while faking a #smile… & let’s not talk about how anxious I get when these photos get uploaded to #SocialMedia.
I’ve said this before but I’d like to improve my #relationship with myself. I’d love to be able to see myself & say, “hey, you’re pretty cool.” A few days ago I lamented about losing people because they choose to cut me out of their lives & I don’t know why. But I do know that their desire to avoid me mirrors my own desire to avoid me. If I want to break this cycle, I need to cultivate an #unconditional sense of #compassion, #curiosity, #foregiveness, gratitude, love, & reverence for all life STARTING WITH MYSELF.
My friend @ahhlanna96 reminded me Friday about the self-portrait I created last month with all the positive things others said about who I am. She told me to look at that more often so I can start believing in who I am.
156/365.
This photo was originally posted on Instagram and Flickr.
Today’s photo prompt and reflective journaling questions for today was a part of the BE YOUR OWN BELOVED photo workshop challenge which is run several times throughout the year by photographer VIVIENNE McMASTER. It’s well worth signing up for, and doing alongside other participants.
#beyourownbeloved💖 #depressionhelp #depressionawareness #startingover #selflove #selflovejourney #selflove #dailyselfie #dailywriting #subvertedselfies #subvertedselfie #art #photography #sad #depressed