Write a very short story - not more than 200 words - about a trip to the doctor or dentist using the ABDCE structure. Identify the structural elements in your story. My example is provided below:
One night when I was eight years old I opened a bag of Doritos to eat while watching television. (A) Doritos were my favorite snack to eat as a child. Nacho Cheese was my favorite flavor. (B) I loved sitting in the dark hearing the “crunch, crunch, crunch” of the chips. I’d sit there, crunching my chips, but didn’t eat the chips with a napkin (what kid does?) and would forget about the powder that accumulated on my fingertips. As it got later and I got sleepier, I kept rubbing my eyes, my fingertips covered in Doritos Nacho Cheese powder. (D) When it was time for bed, I went to brush my teeth, looked in the mirror, and saw two large bags under my eyes. The Doritos Nacho Cheese powder had pooled into two large sacks underneath my eyeballs. I started screaming and crying. (C) The next day, my grandmother took me to the doctor who put industrial strength eye drops into my eyes to flush out the powder. (E)
Remember, the action in this story isn’t the actual doctor’s office visit. The action is what LEADS you to the doctor’s office. “She said that sometimes she uses a formula when writing a short story, which goes ABDCE, for Action, Background, Development, Climax, and Ending.”
Frantically, Tom looked for the charcoal he had just bought hours ago. (A) He had spent part of the weekend crafting his latest drawing that covered eight by five feet of his studio wall; but his work had stopped Sunday when he ran out of charcoal. Now, with twenty four hours having been lost, Tom was enraged that more time stood to drain away because he couldn’t find his newest assortment of willow charcoal. (D) But then, from the periphery of his eye, Tom saw it perched up high near the top of his book shelf. With lightening speed he darted across the room to scurry up a step ladder. But as he reached out to claim his prize mid-climb, Tom felt his right foot miss a rung, causing him to topple forward like a rag doll face first into the shelf. (C) As he wreathed in pain on his studio floor, a tear trickled down the side of Tom’s face. With his ankle twisted and his nose bleeding, Tom wondered how he’d ever finish his drawing now that a trip to the doctor was in order. (E)
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Revision
Frantically, Tom looked for the charcoal he had just bought. (A) He spent part of the weekend crafting his latest portrait drawing that reached up eight feet tall by five feet wide across his studio wall. But his work was halted Sunday when he ran out of charcoal. (B) Now, having lost a day, Tom ground his teeth with the thought that more time might drain away because he couldn’t find his newest assortment of willow charcoal. (D) But then, from the periphery of his eye, Tom saw it perched up high near the top of a studio book shelf. He’d placed it there when looking for a book on charcoal shading techniques. With lightening speed he darted across the room to scurry up a step ladder. But as he reached out to claim his prize, Tom felt his right foot miss a rung, causing him to topple forward like a rag doll face first into the shelves. (C) As he writhed in pain on his studio floor, a tear trickled down the side of Tom’s face. With his ankle twisted and his chin bleeding, Tom wondered how he’d ever finish his drawing now that a trip to the doctor was in order. (E)
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