Everyday now for the last week, the bandages on my feet are changed by the wound therapy nurses at Peace Arch Hospital. And even when wrapped, the blood from the wounds on my left big toe eventually seeps through the bandages & whatever sock I’m wearing. It dries up into a dark, brownish, burgundy colour. An infectious disease expert examined my feet today, finding that the wounds have opened on the top and bottom of my big toe, wide enough that the bone is showing. The blood flow to my feet is strong however, which he says will aid in the healing process. He prescribed six weeks of daily IV antibiotics & wound care therapy.
I’m trying to stay positive. But I feel lost. I’m limited in what I can do, I’m not supposed to put pressure on my feet. On Friday they will hook me up to a PICC-Line (a peripherally inserted central catheter), which the @mayoclinic website describes as being “…a long, thin tube that’s inserted through a vein in your arm & passed through to the larger veins near your heart… It’s generally used to give medications or liquid nutrition. A PICC line can help avoid the pain of frequent needle sticks & reduce the risk of irritation to the smaller veins in your arms.” I’m not sure how I feel about this. No heavy lifting. More housework & yard-work will go undone.
I slept a lot on Wednesday. The antibiotics combined with Tylenol 3 is knocking me out. It’s a repeat of last year all over again. It leaves me feeling so defeated. I want to binge but I’m trying my best not to. I want to cry but crying just embarrasses me. Makes me feel ashamed. Makes me feel weak.
(24/365).