July 2, 2022 Subverted Selfie Project Post (Be Your Own Beloved Edition)

DAY 2: OUR BODY, OUR BREATH

I think it's SO common for us to hold our breath in photos but that disconnects us from our body and enhances any anxiety in our body that might be coming up. How did focusing on the breath feel for you?

HOW DID FOCUSING ON SOME DEEP BREATHS FEEL FOR YOU AS YOU TOOK YOUR SELFIE? DID YOU NOTICE THE URGE TO HOLD YOUR BREATH?

July 2, 2022: this #morning I took a page from Aaron Doughty and Wim Hof’s book and started my day off with an ice cold #shower - documenting it in a series of #photographs, one of which I’m presenting here. When the ice cold #water hits my #body, I can’t help but #breathe a number of incredibly full bodied, chest filling breaths that start out as deep gasps. But as my body gets used to the temperature I find the breathing becomes more natural and even relaxing as my muscles release the tension that’s buried within. I also find that the ice cold water makes breathing a more conscious process, one where I’m hyperaware of each and every breath that I take. And like any new experience, this process can be jarring at first, there’s no doubt about that. But it’s also a process of awakening, and opening up to a new day that I appreciate the most with this practice, when I remember to do it. It helps my blood flow, it takes my depression and my negative self talk, my doubts. It clears my mind. And yeah, it does get easier over time, with a commitment to doing it each and every morning. As I took this selfie, focussing on my breath felt natural. Especially as there was nothing else I could do.

WHAT ARE SOME OTHER TOOLS FOR GROUNDING THAT YOU USE IN OTHER PARTS OF YOUR LIFE?

Ponder what tools or actions you take part in to get grounded. Maybe it's making a cup of tea. Maybe it is feeling your feet on the ground or doing mountain pose? Maybe it is noticing your senses. Or maybe it is a crystal you like to hold or a stone in your pocket that helps you get grounded. List them here! And then ponder...could we include some of these as part of our process this month? Could we make ourselves a cup of tea as we're reading the class activities and get grounded before we take our selfie? Or feel the ground beneath our feet before we pick up our camera?

After my shower, I often put the kettle on to make #tea. Sometimes that involves pouring #milk into a mug and chugging it down before leaving just enough to sit with my #teabag to steep with the hot water when it’s added. I find the cold deliciousness of the milk to be oddly satisfying, as the only time I #drink it is when I add it to my tea.

I also enjoy taking my #dog outside when it’s time for her to do her morning business. I’ll often go out with her #barefoot and ground myself by walking through the cool grass which is often painted with the cool myst of a soft morning dew. In these moments, as I breathe in deeply, I feel closest to the #earth. Feeling the blades of grass between my toes and the hard earth beneath is oddly uplifting. I haven’t done this much this year, like so many things, I start and then I stop. And that’s ok, sometimes, provided I remember to start more often than I stop.

This post originally appeared on Instagram and I’m.

183/365.

There are now more #days behind us in 2022 than there are ahead of us.

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Today’s photo prompt and reflective journaling questions for today was a part of the BE YOUR OWN BELOVED photo workshop challenge which is run several times throughout the year by photographer VIVIENNE McMASTER. It’s well worth signing up for, and doing alongside other participants. Note that there’s no requirement to share your photos outside of the group. You don’t even have to share the writing reflections with the group, let alone publicly as I do. It’s a very supportive and private safe space that McMaster provides.

@beyouroewnbeloved @beyourownbelovedportraits

July 1, 2022 Subverted Selfie Project Post (Be Your Own Beloved Edition)

DAY  1:  TAKING  THE  FIRST  STEP

WHAT  ARE  YOU  HOPING  FOR  IN  THE  JOURNEY  AHEAD  THIS  MONTH?

As  we begin  this  month  of  opening  up  to  seeing  ourselves  with  kindness  through  our  cameras,  what  are you  hoping  for?

July 1, 2022: This is going to mark my fourth attempt at getting through this #beyourownbeloved #challenge. I don’t want to beat myself up again after only making it only three days in back in March, four days in May and eleven days in June. I got bogged down with finishing my condensed #ArtHistory of Urban, #Graffiti and #StreetArt course I took. I actually finished the course, but only with a B-. The new #antidepressant and #antianxiety #medication I’m on just knocks me out so much. Even when I stopped the #anxiety medication for a week I was still out of it, and had troubles finishing my final project: I needed more time but had none, and I failed the final project as a result. Which sucks as I was sitting at an A/A+ heading into the final project. I’m still going to finish it though, as my project focussed on #MentalHealth and #depression, a conversation I think is so important to have.

I’ve talked a lot about my battle with depression. It feeds my bad eating habits. Even right now as I write this, I want to go to this nearby #cafe and gorge myself on a cinnamon sugar brioche, a chocolate chip cookie, and a large hot chocolate. But I’m not going to do that as I’ve been fasting for 24 hours, drinking just water in preparation for my first hydrocolonic therapy session at @inner.garden.health. I thought my first session was last week, and I had faster then as well, which I don’t regret. The last two weeks I’ve been more #mindful of what I consume.

What  would  you  love  to  feel  in  this  experience?  Are  there  certain  types  of  selfies  you hope  to  capture?

So, again I start another day wanting to feel more #positive about myself. I want to #raise my #vibration. I want to breathe in being alive. I’m not going to dwell on how many times I’ve said this in the past. It’s time to just let it 🐝.

This photo originally appeared on Instagram and Flickr.

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IT  CAN  BE  POWERFUL  TO  GIVE  VOICE  TO  WHAT  WE'RE  NERVOUS  OR FEARFUL  OF  TOO.  WHAT  FEARS  OR  WORRIES  ARE  ON  YOUR  MIND? By  giving  them  space  to  be  heard  and  knowing  that  they  might  come  up  again,  it  can  help  us  begin  to diffuse  their  power  over  us!

HAVE  YOU  TAKEN  YOUR  PHOTO  ALREADY?  IF  NOT...ARE  YOU  FEELING RESISTANT?  IF  SO,  IT'S  TOTALLY  OKAY  AND  LET'S  EXPLORE  WHY!

You  might  fine  that  with  this  or  any  prompt,  you  feel  resistant.  That  is  totally  okay  and  it  can  actually  be  a really  good  thing  as  it's  a  sign  that  there  is  change  ahead.  Your  inner  critic  doesn't  want  you  to  change and  it  works  really  hard  to  prevent  that.  So  when  we  feel  that  resistant  feeling  it's  usually  a  sign  that  we SHOULD do it,  no  matter  what  our  inner  critic  says.  So  let's  compassionately  and  playfully  step  into  our resistance  to  a  prompt,  keep  going...keep  trying.  Out  past  our  resistance  is  our  realizations!

Plus,  we're  on  Day  1  of  a  class,  beginning  a  process  of  taking  a  photo  every  day!  Today  is  about  creating that  motion  in  the  process  and  this  space  it  to  let  yourself  acknowledge  the  resistance  and  see  what happens  next!

#beyourownbeloved #beyourownbeloved💖 #depressionawareness #startingover #selflovejourney #dailyselfie #dailywriting #art #photography #feet #heels #scar #legs #socks #tattoo

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Today’s photo prompt and reflective journaling questions for today was a part of the BE YOUR OWN BELOVED photo workshop challenge which is run several times throughout the year by photographer VIVIENNE McMASTER. It’s well worth signing up for, and doing alongside other participants. Note that there’s no requirement to share your photos outside of the group. You don’t even have to share the writing reflections with the group, let alone publicly as I do. It’s a very supportive and private safe space that McMaster provides.

@beyouroewnbeloved @beyourownbelovedportraits

June 11, 2022 Subverted Selfie Project Post (Be Your Own Beloved Edition)

DAY 11: THE TRUTH OF TODAY

WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE THESE DAYS THAT YOU'D LIKE TO GIVE SPACE TO BE HEARD, TO BE SEEN (BE IT TOUGH OR JOYFUL...ALL OF IT IS WELCOME).

This is space for you to freely write about what is going on for you right now. I really encourage you to pause and take your selfie (or 10 of them) first and then come here and let the words flow. This isn't the kind of selfie you need to conceptualize or plan, so just grab the camera and offer yourself that space.

From June 11, 2022: Today, in the @beyourownbeloved challenge I’ve been working through, we have permission to pause and reflect on whatever is going on in our lives... So this reflection is more like what I usually do here with my daily selfies. And I admit that the last few weeks have seen me #slip again. But I have taken steps to hopefully put the brakes on another free-fall.

I had an assessment with @kwantlenu counselling to get back to regular sessions, which are so needed.

I had a complete physical #examination with my primary care physician, and was sent for blood work.

I got a new set of #prescriptions for my #anxiety, #depression, #diabetes, and high blood pressure. I’m nervous about taking these again though - most notably the anxiety and depression #medication. When I started them in January they knocked me right out. My doctor said the psychiatrist who prescribed them had a plan where the dosage would change after 30 days, so I should try and stick to the plan he had. So I think maybe my body will get used to the medication? I dunno. I know I need to eat better, and get more exercise. But if the pills knock me out I don’t have energy for exercise and then I end up sleeping more and falling further behind. But I’m going to try my best not to fall behind. By being more gentle with myself, and getting a little bit done everyday.

But I’m also worried about my Mum. She’s had several bad falls lately, but trying to get her to reach out for help has been difficult. They come on without warning. She has an #MRI scheduled for this evening. So I hope that goes well. I don’t talk a lot about my Mum on this platform, outside of mentioning the odd fight we have had. She’s a good person, and has a lot of love in her heart. She’ll go the distance for those closest to her. Life hasn’t always been good to her though. She has a myriad of health issues: arthritis, diabetes, degenerative disc disorder, fibromyalgia, and heart disease to name a few. Sometimes I think it would be easier to list things she hasn’t dealt with. I try to help her out as best I can. But my own major depressive disorder hasn’t always made things easy on that front. But I try.

This was originally posted on Instagram and Flickr.

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THIS ACTIVITY IS REALLY ABOUT SHOWING UP FOR YOURSELF AND GIVING YOURSELF THE SPACE TO BE HEARD...BY YOU. IT'S ONE I HOPE YOU MIGHT USE REGULARLY TO SUPPORT YOURSELF. WHAT ARE SOME OTHER WAYS YOU CAN OFFER YOURSELF SUPPORT IN YOUR LIFE?

Perhaps it is time for yourself, or something you might do? Or maybe even rest. There is no right or wrong answer to this..let it spill out here and see what ideas you might come up with or come back to this space later as the ideas arise. This isn't to do while class is in session, but is simply something to ponder offering yourself!

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Today’s photo prompt and reflective journaling questions for today was a part of the BE YOUR OWN BELOVED photo workshop challenge which is run several times throughout the year by photographer VIVIENNE McMASTER. It’s well worth signing up for, and doing alongside other participants. Note that there’s no requirement to share your photos outside of the group. You don’t even have to share the writing reflections with the group, let alone publicly as I do. It’s a very supportive and private safe space that McMaster provides.

@beyouroewnbeloved @beyourownbelovedportraits